I should start this by admitting that I am in a bad mood. I had angry dreams last night - dreams where I got mad and stood up and said so. The mood lingered into the waking hours.
So I had to run my husband's keys across town when he forgot them this morning. It was a blessing in disguise, because otherwise I would probably have remained a hermit at home, even with the wonderful weather. But once I was up and out, I took the Kiddo to the playground.
Our favorite playground is a few miles towards the middle of the city, but it's halfway between here and where my husband works, so it's convenient. I popped off there today thinking to take advantage of the great weather and the crowds of kids out on a good summer day.
I did not factor in the older kids. I get the impression there was a school group/camp group there, because there was a mob (deliberate usage, I'll elaborate) of 8-12 year old boys racing around the playground. This is a pretty large place, with at least 6 different play spaces and equipment designed for the under 2 crowd up to the older kids. I've never had issues with mixed ages or large crowd here. Until today...
The boys were out of control. They raced in all direction at top speed, climbing the slide, throwing toddlers out of their way, generally intimidating the mothers who mostly opted to escape their path. But my daughter LOVES that playset and when it was too crazy, she just stood there waiting for a chance. She's a calm easy going kid, one who pleases, so she just let them push her away when she finally made it to the top of the slide. My existing mood met my momma-bear protectiveness, took a liberal dash from my general sense of justice in the world, and I intervened.
I tried first to just note that they should not climb the slide when other kids were there. The didn't even turn their heads to find the source of my voice. I broke a huge taboo and touched a few of them - or rather they touched me when they careened HARD into my outstretched hand blocking them from running up the slide. Still, I was nonexistant, a ghost, as they dodged under my arm and continued on. There were 4, maybe 6, boys but it did not matter. They were responding with a mob mentality - if they all just keep on, no one could stop them ALL, right?
I doubted myself, Am I just a grumpy old lady with a young kid and no sympathy for the needs of older kids? I dropped this doubt when another small kid was drop kicked in the head by one of the boys... AND NO ONE CARED! Well, her mother did, but NO ONE ELSE did anything! The boy ran off blythly. (Angry images of Novak hitting that pedestrian swam through my head.) I was done.
The next charge I yelled. I channeled the few things I learned about high school discipline during my shortlived tenure in the classroom and I demanded they get off the equipment.
I'd love to say this had an effect, but it did not. Until their teacher (a bright young thing) came over and went on something like, "hey, guys, this lady has asked you 4 times not to climb the slide (so she noticed?!). If you can't listen, then we will have to leave, now try and do better. I think a little kid got scared (how about kicked in the head, lady!)" and then some more that even to me sounded like the teacher in Peanuts. And they were off again.
So we left. And in the car, I fumed on what I wish I had done. I wish I had had the power to demand they get off the play equipment, then all of them apologize to the mother of the child they kicked, then leave. No warnings, no soft admonishions. These kids are older than that and if they have not learned some manners yet, then it's already getting late. "Kids will be kids," some say. Which is a way of shrugging and admitting that kids will be violent little beasts at times. It was a teachable moment... or it was just mob mentality reinforced as the best tool to defeat authority.
Middle schoolers 1: Grumpy mom 0
um...wow....
I don't know what I'd do to a child that kicked E in the head while I was watching her. Poor lady.
Posted by: Auntie M | July 25, 2008 at 12:59 PM
I love children. Bullies, however, are on my *#&$ list. If I were you, I would go back to the playground another day till I found the rowdies, talk to their "keeper" (so called 'cause it's obviously not like she is teaching them anything!!) and file a complaint with the school or program to make them stay away or get better supervision. I am turning into a grumpy lady without even the excuse of parenthood, so sister, I admire your restraint....
Posted by: Uppitychick | July 28, 2008 at 03:29 PM