Given that this is the last night of peace I will have for another year to year-and-a-half, I wonder why I'm spending it like so many other nights. I guess I should be out doing something distinct to savor this evening, but the inertia of the mundane is winning out.
- I took a nap. Oh yeah, we all know that'll never happen again. The late pregnancy insomnia has been kicking my arse and I suppose it's better to be well-rested than not - so I indulged in an hour's nap.
- I took a shower. Long, leisurely, hot. I know, by this time tomorrow, that will be a luxury I will miss deeply for a while.
- I am listening to NPR and surfing the internet, just puttering through the things I like to read. It's such a stupid waste of time to just surf the internet, but it's another luxury I won't have soon enough. I'm thinking about switching to watching a DVD and knitting. Not inspiring. Instead it's decadent and lazy.
Before this misleads you to think it's been a quiet day, I should clarify that I also ran all over two states dropping off my dependents, fuzzy and otherwise, with friends and family. I also popped in a big box hardware store and bought a huge amount of tile for the basement. I spent several calls pinging with the basement guys about various things, like linear feet of bullnose and molding details. On the way back into town, I popped into the repair garage and had the back-hatch of the car fixed finally, so we can, ya know, actually put things back there.
Most importantly, I took a half hour to linger in a coffeeshop and share a chocolate milk and donut with my favorite 2 yo. As she popped up and down in her chair, playing with her straw, she paused and looked up at me. "My happy, Mommy. My laughing! Good day!" It almost made me cry because she is such a shining star and such a joy and I'm of course worried about how the addition of a new kid will affect her. I wanted to sit with her, spending time "just us," for a few more hours. She's my cuddly, loving, sweet, generous little girl. She has all my heart - and yet I know somehow Wee2 will also have all my heart. I haven't sorted out how that happens, but I have it on good authority that the heart is capable of this miracle of love.
So, I'm here, missing my daughter while waiting for the arrival of the next one... I have a million thoughts, some so large I can't grasp them, so maybe it's no wonder I'm just as well inclined to spend the evening comfy and cozy in front of a familiar DVD. I'll take her advice - be happy. Laugh. Just enjoy a good day.
Recent Comments