Safe travels and safe returns

WeeE doesn't really understand it, but her best bud is taking off on a grand adventure, across the ocean. She knows this, we've talked about it, but I don't know if she grasps it. She points to his new continent in her atlas. She's asked why he has to start a new school and why his dad has a new job. But she asks "why" to everything, so it's hard to tell if she really wants to know or if I just feel more compelled to answer this time.

I feel like this friendship has been around for years.

I keep mythologizing it.. thinking they must have met when they were newborns. But in looking in my archives, it's only really a year old. I think it started when they both got the same kitchen set. Then was reinforced when they held hands across the strollers on a walk. Eventually they went to school together. Then both their mommies were pregnant and then they were both big siblings. 

But all of that is trivial details. These two were uncommon friends, friends not because their moms hung out. Their moms hung out (and became friends in their own right) because of the strength of their friendship. Even in the emotional times of Terrible Twos, they did remarkably little to wound each other. They helped each other, cared for each other, found lost toys, comforted after falls, and shared band-aids, hats, sticks, and lunches. At playschool or the pool, they'd swap their snack back and forth. She'd play in the sand because he loved it. He'd play dress-up and tea time because she loved it. They both adore Richard Scarry.

 

They were together the day his brother was born - running in the gardens and sharing their snacks.

 

They re-landscaped my yard - moving little rocks when smaller. Moving mini wheel barrows of sand most recently. Houses painted, gardens planted... they played the parts of an age old couple.

 

His pith helmet and her fairy wings. Happily, he's going off on wonderful adventures that will make him a world citizen. She's already promised to fly and visit him with her beautiful wings.

 

I can't really tell what this friendship has meant to her. She's 2.5 and he's 3... but it's meant the world to me. I love so much the joy she's had in her friend and playing with them brought me some of the most shining moments of being a parent to date. Of course I am sad. I'll miss him and his parents, who are dear and inspiring people. Who I hadn't realized had become part of my daily life. I could hope and trust they'll be back soon, just two years right? Two years of the same richness as this last will seem like a decade of life.

 

It's no compliment to wait for adventurers to return. Better to muster the courage to be off on our own adventures by the time they return. It's better to wish that they'll take a bit of us with them wherever they go, giving us wings and lending lift to our dreams, of travel, of adventure, of doing good. The gifts we've received outweigh the pain of loss a hundred times over - but the missing still smarts.

Safe travels and safe returns. 

Comments

[Susan]

This is a beautiful post.

[Tim]

Jess, this is such a wonderful post, both your thoughts and the pictures of our two compadres in action. Thank you, and for being such a great mom and facilator of Bimi-Lilibet antics. Audra and I both found reading this to be a heartwarming arrival message, as we read it on our first full day in country.

Although we are adjusting nicely Bimi has already asked if we are going to go to the airport, to go home, and also asked if Lilibet is going to visit. We hope Lilibet's allowance is adequate. If not, we hope these two will remember days of gardening and tea parties and pick up where they left off. Alternately, for a small dowry, we could arrange a more long term solution.

Thanks again for such a lovely post. We'll be in touch!

Tim

[Husband (recently seen wearing a beret)]

Just in case this posting didn't make you maudlin enough...I found the perfect .midi file that you could play while reading it. Although we've lost the fine art of the late '90s midi-file laden homepage.

http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/parton/130/ccm/jamestaylor_yougotafriend.mid

(yes, James Taylor.)